I went to a "concert" of sorts the other day. It wasn't really a concert, but that is the closest description I have without saying what exactly it really was. Point it, everyone was sitting in chairs. There was no standing at this "concert".
Now picture this. A whole row of folding chairs that are all connected. There is no possible way to take them apart.
Now a small diagram of the order in which we were sitting:
Best friends mom....best friend....me....FAT ASS FUCKER
I am not sure who this Fat Ass Fucker was. I am not even sure if it was a man or a woman. I guessed at a woman but was outnumbered by my best friend and her mom who thought it was a man.
Point fucking being. This THING of epic porportions was basically sitting on my lap the whole time!!!!!!!! He/she was too goddamn fat for her/his individual chair area which just so happened to be connected to mine!!! My leg was being crushed by a huge thigh and my dress was stuck under it!!! I couldn't even move unless I wanted to strip and run the fuck out of there!!!
If I ever get that fat, I will stab myself in the heart.
oh I feel you sweetheart.
ReplyDeleteMy boyfriend just booked my 14 hour plane ride back home for 20 days from now and I'm already worrying about who is going to sit next to me.
Can we just all get rich so we can buy the seats next to us and stretch our skinny selves out?
loving you xx
BAHAHAHAHA! This is so funny, I am so sorry that happened. I really am, but it is humorous. I KNOW you will NEVER let yourself get that big!
ReplyDeleteIt's like when people gain weight, they lose brain cells. How did the person NOT EVEN NOTICE?! Gaaaah, too funny.